


[BDSM Chronicles]

by thesnowyswan



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, Praise Kink, Rimming, Spanking, post reunion 2017
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-02-06 01:51:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12806991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesnowyswan/pseuds/thesnowyswan
Summary: As part of my Kinktober 2017 fics I wrote two specific chapters involving a BDSM based relationship between Aaron and Robert. This is going to be a collection of any other stories I write including that theme.[Predominately sub!Rob and dom!Aaron, but there will be stories of the reverse]





	1. heal me in all the ways i am broken

**Author's Note:**

> THIS STORY MY LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE. This was based off of a prompt that [Malorie](https://robertisbisexual.tumblr.com) left me because she likes to fray my nerves with the IC struggle. Actually that's her side venture. Her main endeavour is my consistent contribution to the BDSM!Robron canon. 
> 
> This story has elements of a praise kink, but this is very much a story about submission and Robert being able to let go of things he's been holding onto because Aaron is there to take care of him. Sometimes it means pushing him up to his limits, but Aaron always has the upmost respect for them. 
> 
> Warnings: this story has a discussion of attempted suicide.

Robert’s suspicions are up. He was sent out for milk early this morning when he knows he bought 4 pints in yesterday and not even Gerry can eat that much cereal. In fact, Liv and Gerry have scarpered, Liv shrugging her shoulders as she passed Robert, Gerry giving him a mysterious thumbs up that he’d rather not know about, if he’s honest. So when he walks into the living room, he scans it quickly for anything out of the ordinary but he can’t find anything misplaced. Aaron is coming down the staircase with a small smile on his face and it draws one out of Robert naturally.

“What’s up?” He gestures around with his hands and Aaron nods, he obviously knows what’s been said.

“Just wanted to spend some time together.”

It’s not what Aaron says, but way he says it. He’s flippant in a way that doesn’t fit him at all because he never is at home. In their space he’s as soppy as he wants to be and not even Robert can stop him.

“Okay,” he drawls as Aaron catches him around his waist when he goes to sit down. Aaron pushes Robert back and he narrows his eyes at his husband. Aaron would bite his lip if he’d done something he needed to confess, but currently his chin is tilted slightly up like he’s expecting defiance and he’s ready to fight.

The thumbs on his waist start to rub gently and Robert hovers his lips over Aaron’s in an almost kiss before Aaron shakes his head.

“Get on your knees.” He isn’t asking. It’s a command.

It’s like having a bucket of cold water thrown on him at the same time a fire is lit under his arse. They’ve been back together months, talked every issue out until they were hoarse and knackered, but they never broached this, their play tabled indefinitely it would have seemed.

Mostly because Robert doesn’t think he can do it, had shied away from anything that might have led to it up until now.

Aaron is watching his face and reading every emotion, “I’m not gonna make you, but I think you want to.”

He does. God, he does. He loves what they have now, how they fit together like a pieces of a puzzle, but they aren’t complete. There’s still the last piece to fit in to make 1001.

At the crux of it, he’s ashamed. What he gets from submitting is for someone else. Someone who knows how to be good.

Aaron kisses him, slowly sliding his lips over Robert’s, his fingers digging into the dips of his hips and dragging him forward. Robert draws in a breath and Aaron takes it as his opportunity to press his tongue in, to brush it up against Robert’s and encourage him to react. He doesn’t hesitate when he grabs the back of Aaron’s head and holds him tight against his body, sucking heavily on his tongue before biting at his mouth. Robert lets Aaron go to watch him pull in deeper breaths, such was the strength of their kiss.

“I want you,” Aaron tells him, “We can go upstairs, or you can get on your knees, but I’m having ya.”

A choice that is not a choice heats Robert’s blood, the overt bluntness of Aaron’s assertion thickens up the tension in the room. It’s something he can’t deny when it’s laid out before him like that. Submit or don’t. Choose, but choose me. He looks for some sort of judgement on Aaron’s face, but he finds none. He lets go of him, toeing off his Chelsea boots and slipping off his jacket. He has to pull up his jeans before he kneels, but he ends up level with Aaron’s belly, his mouth starting to water a little for what’s to come. 

“Colour?”

Robert feels the calm that comes with what they do settle over his shoulders, “Green.”

He’s behind the settee and Aaron leaves him long enough to grab one of the kitchen chairs and sets it down in front of Robert and takes the seat. There’s a long silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. Although, Robert finds he can’t keep Aaron’s stare for long as he folds his arms and tilts his head.

“Eyes up, Robert.”

There’s a tendril of _something_ that sits on his chest, but he manages to look back up. Aaron shuffles closer and his hand brushes against Robert’s cheek before he takes a soft kiss and leans back.

Robert isn’t sure how long Aaron makes them sit there, but the thing in his chest seems to spread, infecting everything with fear and his mind with doubt. Aaron is looking at him with such patience and love, and he knows he doesn’t deserve it.

He breathes out hard and Aaron ducks his head, “Hey.”

The softness in his tone sparks something in Robert’s mind and suddenly he gets it. The weight of what Aaron is trying to do. He’s going to make Robert sit with his guilt and his inadequacies. He going to watch them break him so that he can rebuild with what’s left.

“I can’t.” He shakes his head and sits back on his ankles.

Aaron makes the face he does when he thinks Robert is trying to take the easy way out: _do it, give in._ He makes no move to get up because technically Robert hasn’t safe worded out. He just tips his palm up, hand resting on his knee. He can take it if he wants. Aaron won’t shame him for it, and that’s why he gets back up onto his knees. He hooks his fingers behind Aaron’s calves to encourage him forward and he comes with ease and they share another warm kiss.

“You can do this, Robert, I know it.” A hand comes up to push through his fringe and pull on it slightly. “You’re always so good like this. Even when it’s hard. You do it so well.”

Aaron’s words hit right in the centre of Robert’s current conflict because they are what he’s dying to hear, but more than that, it’s what he’s dying to be worthy of. Aaron untucks his shirt from his waistband and rucks it up so that he can trace Robert’s ribs with sure fingertips. He unbuttons Robert’s shirt and lets it hang on his shoulders, watching his skin prickle at the slight chill in the air.

“Some people say they forget how beautiful their other half is. Straight blokes mostly, but I never do. People watch you, not ‘cause you’re a dick,” a tiny quirk of his lips at that, “’Cause you’re tall and blonde with a great mouth, but you’re mine.”

Stroking fingers turn possessive and dig slightly into the muscle over his heart. Robert would let him dig it out of his chest with blunt fingers if it made him sure of how much Robert loves and wants him.

“You were mine even then.”

His stomach drops. Aaron means that night. The night he fucked it all up.

“You’re going to be mine today, tomorrow, and every other day of your life.”

Aaron’s hand slips past his scar and presses on his abdomen. Robert welcomes it, a centring gravity to well meant but terrifying promises.

“Stand up.” The command is short, and Robert goes immediately, such is how deep his need to please goes. How ingrained his responses to Aaron are now. “Take ya jeans down.”

He unbuckles his belt but leaves it in the loops, his button and zip follow before he pushes them down to where they catch on his calves. It’s a technicality but Aaron didn’t say anything about his pants, so he leaves them on, one last barrier that Robert can hide behind if he needs to.

He doesn’t, and even if he did, Aaron wouldn’t allow it.

Aaron leans back on the chair again and the waiting takes on a different edge. Robert can feel his body answering Aaron’s heated look on him, his cock working up a sizeable bulge under the dark fabric. In fact, Aaron pulls his underwear to rest under his balls and Robert curls his hands into fists because somehow this is more exposing to him than to have just taken them off. Aaron nudges his knuckles on the underside of Robert, and it earns him a twitch in response, Robert rocking on the balls of his feet for a second.

There’s blessed relief when Aaron wraps his lips around the head of Robert’s dick, but he only hollows his cheeks for a moment before he lets him slip from his mouth. He’s purposely wetted Robert, the air cooling the warmth of his spit and part of Robert wants to shrink back, but the warring sensations work to swell him up to nearly full hardness. Aaron pulls a smaller tube of lubricant, one of the ones they normally keep in the car, out of his pocket before he slicks up his palm. Robert bites his lips into his mouth when Aaron gets his hand on him, low, near the base, a loose cage for heated skin.

A short tug on him and Aaron makes Robert step so that he’s more or less in the spread of Aaron’s thighs where he sits. His fingers are sparing in their touches, a stroke here, a rub there, the questioning tease working up a slow tension in Robert’s thighs.

“What are ya sorry for? Guilty of, huh?” Aaron asks before he blows on the head of Robert cock.

Robert doesn’t want to answer him. He doesn’t want to bring that into what they do here, where being touched by Aaron is everything he needs. He shakes his head. _Please don’t make me do this_.

“I wanna hear it, Rob.” He isn’t angry, he isn’t trying to punish Robert, he’s trying to crack the last wall Robert built when they broke up. In some ways, it’s selfish of him to want to be a part of that, the ugly truths Robert keeps about himself.

The hand tightens inexplicably around the tip, almost too tight before Aaron swipes his thumb over it and Robert sighs. He loves that, but Aaron knows that. Knows much too much already.

Aaron’s voice stays soft: “Tell me. You wanna be good, this is how you do it.”

Lips wrap around him and Robert groans. He has to grip his own thighs so that he doesn’t yank on Aaron’s hair, but Aaron eases off almost immediately anyway. When Robert still doesn’t answer him, Aaron flicks his dick, a slight jolt of not quite pain that spurs Robert’s desire on.

“I asked ya a question.” Firm again. Demanding now. Robert wants to shudder against it, curl up in the certainty of it.

He takes a measured breath in, “I was the worst.”

“The absolute worst version of myself and for what? Nothing.” Some things can be forgiven, but some can’t, so Robert holds them all close to his chest. Let him be the one that carries his own burden.

Aaron pushes at his jeans and pants and they both get them off before he pulls on Robert’s hips again, shuffling him forward so that his legs end up either side of Aaron’s thighs, his breath ghosting over him.

A soft kiss against his hip crease, Aaron looks up at him, his eyes knowing but guileless, “What else?”

He knows what Aaron is digging for and he wants to pull away from it; physically and mentally. The stuff he’s already said, he’s said it a hundred times before. Aaron is talking about Christmas.

“Don’t.” He doesn’t know if he can give this up. Aaron’s hands brush up and down the backs of his thighs reassuringly, his head nodding in subconscious agreement before he cocks his head like he does when he wants a kiss. Robert leans down and Aaron catches his top and then his bottom lip, his beard scratching gently against him. Robert stands back up and Aaron pulls off his own jumper, unbuttons his jeans and shimmies out of them. It’s not a secret that Robert loves to look at Aaron. He’s not an artist but he’d draw him every day of his life in an effort to capture the essence of who Aaron is. Angry but kind, volatile but steady, strong, humble. Everything.

Sure fingers clasp his arse and Aaron swallows him down while Robert hisses and holds on to Aaron’s shoulders. His blood spikes with heat as he moves to cup the back of Aaron’s head, feeling the soft strands as he bobs and draws pleasure out of Robert so easily. One of his hands slides until he’s pressing his thumb up against Robert’s perineum, rubbing with increasing pressure, and Robert can’t help but choke out little cries. His orgasm is rushing up inside him like water being sloshed in a glass, he feels full and brimming until Aaron focuses all of his suction at the head and he overflows, his hips shaking and his voice whining as he tries to keep himself upright. Aaron keeps his mouth on him until he’s soft and twitching before he pulls off with a wet pop.

“I need to hear it, Rob, I need to know why.” Aaron’s words are at odds with his flushed face, red shiny lips with the gloss of what could be spit or come.

Robert opens his mouth, but Aaron gets up, turning him so that he faces the back of the settee. A hand skates over his back before it pushes him in the middle so that he folds over the back, arse up and hands balancing him so that he doesn’t go face first into the seated part.

Aaron stands off to the side and his fingers press against him with a reapplication of lube, coating him first then a gentle two finger press against the muscle. He won’t get hard again for a little while, but it still feels really good and he rocks his hips back.

“No.” Aaron taps his bum and Robert stops, huffing a little against the sofa.

Aaron doesn’t stop until he can get three fingers inside him, easy, and Robert is clenching and unclenching his fists because Aaron has purposely avoided his prostate. He presses light kisses against the small of Robert’s back before he slides himself inside. Robert tries to come up, but Aaron holds him down with strong hands on his waist as he rolls up and in. That’s when Aaron hits it, sending sparks flashing behind Robert’s eyes. After that it’s just a series of pin point precise thrusts against that wall inside him as Robert tries to hold onto his semblance of reality, his cock dribbling wetly against the cushions despite being soft, his throat streaming stretched out whimpering moans that reflect how much control he’s lost.

He calls for Aaron blindly, he doesn’t know what he needs, or wants, he just can’t stay silent as his body plays the tune Aaron wants to perfection. Aaron manages to get a hand under him and pulls at the tip of his cock and Robert can’t take it. His body shakes and jerks forward against the sensitivity, but Aaron doesn’t let up. He keeps rubbing at the vulnerable skin and fucking Robert hard enough that his own breath is dictated by exertion. He works Robert back up for a second orgasm through sheer stimulation, his body tipping over like he’s been chucked off a cliff, big shuddering pulses of pleasure that overtake him.

He moans softly into the settee and expects Aaron to ease out of him, but he realises Aaron hasn’t come.

So, he starts again.

The third orgasm is dry, but Robert feels it just the same, his body curling down as he curses Aaron out.

It’s not the last.

Robert feels like crying when Aaron slips from him to reapply more lube since he’s been fucking Robert for so long that the rest has dried up. His hands come up for a feeble push at Aaron’s hips when he leans down to kiss Robert’s sweaty neck and rub the length of his back.

“No more.” He tells him weakly, his own mouth wet from where he’s licked and smeared his own spit on his mouth and hands.

Aaron slips his fingers into Robert’s arse and taps him easily, he’s so well used. “Is that it? Are you out? ‘Cause I think you can go again. I think you like it best like this. Hiding behind what your body can give. I ring it out, then what’s left?”

It’s too easy, but Aaron thrusts back inside in one smooth motion, only catching a little on Robert’s rim which he soothes with gentle rubs of his thumb. Robert winces with stiffness when he pushes himself up so that he’s leaning on the sofa, no longer pressed over it. Aaron accommodates him, dragging his arse back onto himself when he takes a step back and Robert lets his head hang between his shoulders. Everything feels raw, like an exposed nerve that Aaron keeps cutting into. His fingers dig into Robert’s shoulders as he pulls him down onto every thrust, his own moans more pronounced now. The drips of sweat from his hair hit Robert’s skin before Aaron leans forward and mouths gently at his skin, barely a graze, until he sinks his teeth in bluntly and lurches forward when he comes. Robert holds the settee and sobs wetly when Aaron’s hipbones push hard against his bum. Aaron pulls him up so that he’s standing, and he gets his hand around his cock again and strips him hard. Robert tries to push him off, but he’s still circling his hips and sending little jolts of pleasure inside him and his body is responding to it, giving one final rise. He’s shaking his head because he can’t, and Aaron is stroking him until the very last spurts of come coat his hand. Robert’s legs buckle, Aaron catches him with arms banded around him. He manages to slide them both down to the floor with Robert in his lap and his cock still buried inside. He presses soft kisses against Robert’s temple, his cheek, the corner of his mouth.

“Tell me.” Aaron states, and Robert no longer has it in him to fight. He feels the prickle of tears behind his eyes and his throat closes up, but he’s going to say it.

“I thought about it. It was one split second, and I just. Let go.”

 

_Robert wakes up in the hospital hooked up to too many machines again and his head feels like he’s been hit with a shovel but he forgets it all when he sees Aaron, eyes rimmed red and utterly broken.  
_

_“There was nothing on the road, Robert. There was nothing on the road.” His voice is soft, like to make it any louder would make it realer than it is._

So how did you crash? Why did you crash?

_Robert doesn’t have any answers, his voice paralysed until several nurses come in to check his vitals and Aaron is ushered out for more room. He could have told them Aaron was his husband. He could have told them anything, but he didn’t._

_He didn’t_.

 

“It all got so far away from me. I was on the road and then…” Robert still has gaps where he can’t quite remember, or his brain mixes it up, but he knows this, “I woke up, and you were there. You looked at me and I felt so ashamed. After everything you’d been through.”

Aaron tucks his face up against Robert’s neck and he can feel the wetness of his tears before he lifts his head up, lips soft against Robert’s ear, “My pain isn’t worth more than yours. You _leaving_ me like that. Robert, I can’t—"

Robert grips Aaron’s forearms and wraps them further around himself, “No. I wasn’t—I made a stupid mistake and _I’m sorry_.”

They both take care with how they part, and Robert gets his arms around Aaron’s shoulders and welcomes him into the bracket of his own hips when he leans against the sofa.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron.”

Robert can feel his cheeks wet, but he isn’t the only one crying, so he holds his husband and is forever grateful that he has this second chance. He shushes Aaron when he looks up at Robert with a red face and puffy eyes. He smiles as he brushes his thumb against Aaron’s skin. Aaron would say his face is definitely the picture of a tragedy, but to Robert it’s more honest and beautiful than his will ever be.

“I’m never going to forget how beautiful you are, you know.” His fingers trace lightly over Aaron’s chest, past his scars, the downy hair that you can barely see, to where his lion’s heart lives. “How much you’ve given me. What I did, it was about how far I’d fallen. How only I could dig myself out, and I did. Because I had something better waiting for me than a grave.”

Aaron laces his fingers into Robert’s hair and holds him while he leans his head down on Robert’s shoulder, content to sit on the floor and _be_ together.

 

 

 

Eventually Aaron gets up and grabs them both a drink from the fridge while Robert digs crisps out of the cupboard, both of them happy to desecrate their furniture with their naked bums. What Liv doesn’t know won’t hurt her. He throws Aaron the prawn cocktail ones because they’re the last bag and his favourite while Robert nicks a pack of Gerry’s smoky bacon.

Robert thinks Lucozade is rank, but he needs it. He feels drained in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time, but he also feels happier. He’s always grateful for how Aaron knows exactly when and where to push, and where to hold back. There’s a renewed sense of freedom between them now that Robert’s accidental ill-advised 100 yard dash into a ditch after a Christmas Eve bender isn’t hanging over them. He knew it was a mistake that was never the issue. It was the pain he had caused in its wake that he couldn’t reconcile. Being the person who once again brought such pain to Aaron’s life was more than he could bear, so he ignored it. And it festered. Despite his best intentions, he couldn’t let it go. Not when every time he looked at Aaron the picture of his agony was super imposed over his face.

Aaron hooks his leg over Robert’s just so that they’re touching when he opens up his crisps and nudges the bottle over to him.

“Come on, it’s good for you.” He teases.

Robert snorts, “Yeah, if I’m about to fall into a diabetic coma, oh wait.”

He gets jabbed in the stomach by Aaron’s big toe and he pulls the hair on it until Aaron yanks his foot back, “Oi!”

There’s a happy silence with crisp bags rustling and Robert thinks he remembers buying a pack of chocolate digestives with this week’s shop, if the teens haven’t gotten to them, and he suddenly feels really happy with his lot in life.

“I love you.”

Aaron looks up at him, “Me too.”

Robert lets it slide, Aaron can only do so much emotional expression before his brain short circuits and tells him as much.

“You’re a cock, you know that.” Aaron gets up to put his wrapper in the bin and pulls on Robert’s hair.

Robert wrinkles his nose, “Let’s not talk about cocks. I definitely don’t want to see yours for a week, Jesus.”

Aaron holds in a laugh with a smug smile and biting his bottom lip over his teeth. He catches Robert on his way back with a biting kiss on his throat that tickles and he wriggles away as Aaron carries on putting the kettle on.

He turns around, cock on display, “I love you.”

“I know.”


	2. The Epic Dick Fic of 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was challenged to write 3k of Robert deep throating Aaron. Challenge: accepted.
> 
> This isn't overtly BDSM, but it contains elements of their play, particularly their safety measures/parameters which is why I included it here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, my beloved tumblr sadists. Y'all are so terrible to me, I hope you hate it. ;) Seriously this is the most gratituous thing I've ever written, I am shamed.
> 
> Anyone else who wants to get to know me as a real human, I'm on [tumblr.](https://thesnowyswan.tumblr.com)

Aaron has a new job. Robert hates it because it steals all of his time with his husband. Particularly their sex related time.

He thinks back to this morning when Aaron pinned him belly down on the bed and pressed his full weight against Robert’s back as he drove his cock inside. It had been pure bliss, given their time constraints, but he’s missed the days where he had the time to get between Aaron’s thighs to fuck him and have time to spare for his dick. Aaron’s face when he comes from sex is not the same as his face when he comes from having his dick sucked. The former is a tense bite of his lip and a high-pitched cry as he digs his fingers into whatever he can, whereas the latter, Robert’s favourite, is a shuddering pant like something has been ripped from him. He trembles longer afterwards and is much more malleable to Robert’s post-coital cuddles, and he even makes tea the first two times Robert asks him after as well. A winner all round.

It isn’t all about Aaron though. Robert loves the feel of him in his mouth. The weight, the slide, the heavy pulse he can feel if he just lets Aaron rest on his tongue for a second. What he loves the most is when Aaron reaches the back of his throat and he has to cough around him to be able to keep him in. It feels like he’s been overwhelmed, that he should stop, and to overcome it sends a rush of blood down to his own cock every single time. He checks his watch, Aaron should be home soon, so Robert fusses over the stew that has been cooking by itself all day like it’s a soufflé because he can’t control how much he wants what’s about to happen.

Robert looks down at his trousers and he thinks about changing. They’re tight, already constricting his hardening dick as he works himself up over everything, but he decides against it. Instead, he turns so that he’s facing the kitchen cupboards as he unzips them and gives himself a little room to breathe. It’s a slippery slope as he drags his fingers over the tenting fabric of his underwear and hisses lightly at the warmth that spreads low in his belly, and how it sparks behind his balls. He looks at his watch again, he’s got a good 20 minutes at least. He won’t be interrupted either because he’s made sure the Mill is free tonight. He remains conflicted right up until he shifts forward and bumps his cock on the counter and it jolts him almost painfully. Suddenly, he can’t stop his fingers when they rub over it to soothe the ache.

So, he frees himself a little further, thumb sliding on the head before he spits on his palm and strokes the underside. Robert doesn’t even hold his own moans as they hum in his throat, his hips rocking slowly to prolong his pleasure. He slips his other hand up under his shirt to rub his own stomach the way Aaron does when he works Robert’s dick, and his dick twitches by association, giving up a bead of fluid that he watches disappear into a shine on the head of his cock. Robert can’t help but think about Aaron, how he likes to suck Robert’s cock, putting all the focus on the head so that Robert is always biting his fist and trying to roll away from how intense it is. He feels his belly quivering under his fingertips and his dick dribbles a bit more, enough that Robert curls his toes when he spreads it around the tip, rolling his foreskin, his hips jerking and his dick pulsing in response.

Robert gives up his pretence now, spitting on his hand again and working over his cock with long strokes that leave his mouth a little open and trembling as he watches it appear and disappear into his fist. He keeps his other hand pressed against his skin, but slides it down so that his index and middle fingers bracket the base of his cock, exposing more of it to his view. His balls are twitching, getting ready to pull up when he hears the door go, Aaron jangling his keys into the key bowl before he drops his toolbox with a thud. It doesn’t stop Robert, he’s rising up to a peak and he can’t deny it, his breathing short as his body exerts itself.

Aaron doesn’t say anything when he sees Robert in the kitchen. He just steps so that he’s standing behind Robert’s back, his chest bumping him slightly off centre as he slips a hand under the back of Robert’s shirt. He tucks a kiss up on Robert’s jaw both as a hello and as encouragement as his breath dances enticingly on Robert’s neck. Aaron’s arm slides further around him so that his hand is on Robert’s side and he grips it tightly, like he does when Robert is on top of him and he’s banded his arms around him just to hold on while Robert thrusts. It’s all Robert needs as his hips surge forward and he pumps come up onto his hand and onto the counter. Aaron kisses his cheek and his lips when Robert turns his head, his hand still under his shirt, warm and comfortable as they share a soft knowing smile together.

“Hey.” Robert whispers as he nudges Aaron’s nose with his own. He doesn’t let Aaron answer at first. He captures his lips in a kiss and licks gently at his mouth so that he opens up and Robert can curl his tongue inside and twine it with his. His groan is automatic when Aaron’s hand laces through his hair and holds the back of his head. They part, and Robert can already feel the tingle of where his face will be red from Aaron’s beard.

Aaron tilts his head and smiles again before he says, “Not your average welcome that.”

Robert huffs out a little laugh while he cleans up with a couple of sheets of kitchen roll before he tucks himself back into his trousers.

“Couldn’t help myself.”

“Yeah? What got you so excited?” Aaron asks, teasingly, as he grabs a beer from the fridge and slants it in an offer to Robert. He nods, so Aaron grabs a second one before knocking the door shut with his foot. Robert thinks about telling him, but doesn’t, he shrugs instead and Aaron raises an eyebrow like he doesn’t believe it for a second, yet he lets it go. He pops the cans in quick succession before taking a long sip from one.

Robert grabs two bowls from the cupboard and asks, “Are you hungry?”

“Starved. Nice one,” Aaron nods, looking at the pot.

It’s calm and easy, with Aaron picking up the cans and Robert has the bowls, the table laid earlier, as they move to sit down. They eat in companionable silence for a little while before Robert asks him about work.

“Cars are cars. Bit weird not working for Cain though. My boss asked me if I wanted a tea and made it for me.” Aaron shakes his head like he can’t understand the concept, and working for Cain, Robert can easily suppose that that is true. Aaron has only been working for this new bloke because he deals in super fancy cars and therefore super fancy money that Aaron needs to start up his new business now that his and Adam’s went under. Robert had offered him another loan, but Aaron had balked at the idea almost immediately. He wanted to do this for them and for himself mostly. To prove Robert right about his investment all those years ago. So, Robert backed him, insomuch as he’s happy Aaron is making money, not so happy that it’s encroaching on their alone time.

Robert stacks the dishes away in the dishwasher and when he stands up he’s confronted by Aaron. His tongue swipes at his bottom lip and he’s looking down at Robert’s zipper, which he now realises isn’t even done up.

“You ready to talk now?” Aaron pulls at his button which pops easily and leaves his trousers open and his pants exposed.

“I was thinking.”

“Mhmm. Got that.”

Aaron is walking Robert back until he hits the fridge and his hands immediately catch Aaron’s hips. Robert can’t help but feel a tingle in his belly at the look Aaron gives him, his eyes a little hooded, his mouth in a soft almost smug smile that Robert has always associated with Aaron wanting sex. He pushes at Aaron’s hips a little bit to make room for himself as he slides down onto his knees. Aaron takes in a breath as he looks down at Robert.

“That sort of thinking?” It’s a pointed comment. Aaron means what Robert wants. Has Robert been thinking about his cock stuffed down his throat? He questions if he’s that predictable and knows he is.

“Yeah. You interested?”

“Could be.”

There’s tell-tale beginnings of a bulge under Aaron’s work trousers and Robert doesn’t even hide his stare as he licks his lips.

“Anything I can do to help?” He asks innocently as he works the fabric off Aaron’s hips, ignoring the buttons and zip completely because when he does, they take Aaron’s pants with them. The first thing he sees after the low exposed skin of his belly is the dark, curly hair above his cock. Robert swallows the extra spit that his mouth creates when he sees finally sees Aaron’s dick, how it slowly fills up the longer he looks. When he’s finally had his fill, it has swollen up to almost bump Aaron’s stomach when he breathes, the head starting to redden a little.

“Rob,” Aaron’s voice is soft, but his tone is welcoming. _Okay, now you can_.

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he wraps his lips around the tip, sucking gently. Aaron sighs and Robert curls his tongue underneath, a gentle swipe before he lets him go and looks up. Aaron’s watching, so Robert holds his gaze as he opens his mouth wider, sliding about halfway down Aaron’s cock and bobs on it a couple of times, his cheeks hollowing and his hands reaching out to steady himself on Aaron’s thighs. He uses them to balance as he refocuses on his task, starting to take a little more inside with each slide on and off Aaron’s cock. Aaron, in turn, holds himself up against the fridge, palms flat on it as little moans escape him despite him tucking his face into his arm.

Robert lets him slip out wetly before pushing at his hips, “Let’s go to bed.”

Aaron kicks off his shoes, leaving them where they are, and undoes his trousers before pulling them up enough that he can get upstairs unencumbered. Robert leads the way, flicking on their big light and moving out of the way so that Aaron can sit on the bed. Together they get his kit off, long sleeve shirt staying on, and Robert pushes at his knees so that there is enough room for him when he gets back between them. He pushes at Aaron’s belly and he leans back on his arms and Robert takes a moment to appreciate the velvety skin of his dick. He drags his nose down the crease of Aaron’s thigh, his body wash still miraculously scented after a long day before he noses at his cock. Robert can almost smell the heat of it, thick and musky, and he feels his own start to rise.

A hand pulls at his hair and Robert kisses Aaron’s dick, licking a stripe from his balls to the head and back down again. He works one of Aaron’s balls into his mouth and rolls it before those fingers in his hair tighten again and he is forced to let go. He puts one hand on Aaron’s knee to keep it parted, but puts his other hand high up on his thigh and lets his thumb brush back and forth softly as he takes him back into his mouth. Now he’s able to get up and over Aaron’s body, he can relax his throat and let him bump it with every pass. It’s when he does that Robert can hear the tiny hitches in Aaron’s breathing as he mentally pictures what his cock is doing inside Robert’s mouth. He doesn’t suck off this time and lets Aaron come out of his mouth covered in spit as he breathes exaggeratedly.

“Come on,” Robert nudges. He can suck Aaron’s cock all day, but what he wants, what he _craves_ , is Aaron shoving himself inside without a care in the world.

He glances down at Robert, stroking his own cock and looking like he’s waiting for Robert to convince him some more.

 _Arsehole_.

“I want it, Aaron.” He finds it’s best to be blunt with Aaron. He appreciates honesty and Robert can’t exactly lie about how much he’s been gagging for it. He leans back on his ankles and unbuttons his trousers again, his dick hard and trying to push pre-come out the tip. “I want _you_.”

Aaron cocks his head to get Robert to come closer and he wraps his fingers back around Robert’s head, fingers catching in the blonde strands. He taps his hipbones with his other hand so that Robert remembers where to put his. As if he’d forget. He slides his palms against Aaron’s skin before he slowly draws him back into his mouth. Aaron waits until he’s worked up a good rhythm, taking half of him down again before he says, “Alright?”

Robert taps him once for yes, and Aaron softly pushes him down, till Robert’s nose just about reaches his pubes. Easy. A test for them both. The next couple of passes are much the same, Robert is still able to use his tongue to curve around Aaron’s cock and spike his pleasure.

The fifth is when Aaron pushes and Robert feels him hit the back of his throat and keep going. His eyes water and Aaron pulls him off to cough, spit trailing between them, and Robert smiles up at him as they share a look and nod, and then Robert is taking up his dick again. It still stays light between them until Robert ignores Aaron’s guidance and pushes all the way down and doesn’t pull off. Aaron is cursing, pulling at his hair, but Robert has hold of his hips and won’t be moved. He waits until he feels his throat flutter at the intrusion, until he almost can’t breathe before he lets go, his eyes most definitely red as he heaves in a couple of breaths.

“Fuck me, Aaron, do it properly.”

He gets a light two finger tap on his cheek for ignoring instruction but Aaron nods, curling his bottom lip over his teeth before biting it. He welcomes Robert back over him and the mood is completely different. Aaron moves from his hips this time, gently rolling them up off the bed and holding Robert to him as he fucks his mouth. It’s perfect. Robert flattens his tongue and just lets Aaron move over it, letting the feeling off fullness seep into his bones. Aaron bumps the back of his throat more often than not now and Robert digs his nails into Aaron’s hips with want of it. He sucks where he can, grazes him barely with his teeth and rejoices with thick moans that vibrate when he tastes Aaron’s salty pre-come on his tongue. Aaron’s belly is covered in a thin sheen of sweat as he tips his head back to groan loudly, his thighs beginning to shake and he drives his hips up while he holds Robert down, his cock pulsing come so far down Robert’s throat that he can’t taste it. Aaron lets go of him immediately and Robert pulls off, quickly getting a hand around his own dick and pulling it hard, fisting over it and dragging the pleasure out while he can feel the ghostly press of Aaron’s cock in his throat.

“Yes, it was so good, so good, Aaron, fuck, I love it.” He spills words out of his mouth, almost as an afterthought.

His hand is rough and a little dry, but he doesn’t care. Aaron is rubbing his thumb against his lips as if he can almost still see his cock sliding in and out, or maybe he’s just thinking about the come Robert just swallowed, he doesn’t know, but he wraps his lips around that thumb and sucks on it like it is still Aaron’s cock.

“Jesus, Rob.” Aaron pushes his thumb down against Robert’s tongue and it sparks his orgasm as he bucks against his fist and drips come onto their carpet. He whines as he keeps stroking himself, drawing the last few drops out and shaking them down. When he’s done, Aaron slips his hand away and helps Robert up so that they fall onto the bed with Aaron still under him, but his arms wrapped around Robert’s waist.

Aaron slips a hand into Robert’s trousers and lets it rest on the curve of Robert’s arse, “Enjoy yourself?”

“Mmm, yeah.” Robert snuggles his face into the slope of Aaron’s neck, happy and content and entirely too comfortable. “I just missed spending time with you.”

Aaron squeezes his cheek, “It won’t be forever. Just until I have enough for the new business.”

Robert answers by kissing the skin under his mouth, “I know. I’m just selfish and want you all to myself.”

Aaron laughs, which makes Robert bounce a little on his chest. He definitely missed that.

“You got my attention.”

“Maybe I can get it again later.” He smiles, and Aaron pinches his bum so hard that he rolls off to lie next to him. “Ow.”

It’s a moment where they don’t talk. Aaron looks at Robert in that way only he can, like he sees all of what Robert is and he just loves him for it. He can’t help but surge up and knock Aaron back again with a kiss. It’s closed mouthed and nothing like what they just shared together but Robert tries to pour everything into it that he can, so that Aaron can know how loved he is. Aaron looks a bit bewildered when Robert pulls back but he smiles just the same.

“You know I’m behind you, whatever you need, right?” Robert asks as he rubs a hand up Aaron’s arm.

“Yeah, o’course, don’t be daft.” Aaron huffs as he gets up to chuck his top in the wash bin and carry on into the bathroom. “You coming?”

Neither one of them is good for more than a good back scrub and call him needy, but Robert just wants to be close to his husband.

“Yeah, sure.”

Aaron raises his eyebrow like he’s going to do more and Robert can’t help the answering call of heat in his stomach at the thought.

(They don’t do more. Aaron almost falls asleep while Robert is washing his hair because he’s so tired and when he attempts to walk his fingers over Robert’s cock in bed, Robert curls away from him because he realises that two wanks in one day without lube is probably not the best idea he’s ever had. The sleep they have is really good though.)


	3. Wildest Dreams: Kink day for BAWeek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Kink Day/Day 6 of Bottom Aaron Week on tumblr. Yeah, I'm a day late because my brain is stupid and I forgot.
> 
> A bit of light bondage and dirty talk, so if those aren't your vibes this probably isn't the fic for you.

There is a ridiculous amount of build-up to their first time back together. They do the dating thing; treating each other to epic back rubs, shin rubs, foot rubs, doing everything but share a bed, and it’s torturous. Aaron finds himself eyeing Robert up when he’s in the kitchen making a cup of tea and is almost encouraged enough by the sight to get halfway hard. He knows he’s biting his lip to the point of almost bleeding when Robert swans over in his tight jeans (Aaron’s favourite) and his nice plain blue shirt (also Aaron’s favourite). Aaron’s lying on the settee with his knees up so Robert hasn’t clocked his interest and he isn’t going to tell him.

“So, we’re invited round for tea next week, you up for it?” Robert asks him as he blows on his mug, lips pursed, and Aaron isn’t even listening. “Aaron?”

“Hmm?” He blinks as if that will somehow provide him with the necessary information, it doesn’t, and Robert laughs at him, soft and huffed under his breath.

“What are you like?” He snorts as he takes a sip of his tea. “I’ll take it as a no as well.”

Aaron has stopped listening completely because from where he’s sitting he can see the line of Robert’s freckled throat through the open collar of his shirt

“Are you actually even listening to me?”

The incredulity in Robert’s tone makes Aaron look up, catalogue drawn in brows and his mouth dropped open a little in surprise. Robert sets his cup down and moves so that he ends up with his arms either side of Aaron, knocking his groin from the angle he comes over at.

Aaron tries not to be embarrassed when Robert looks down at the seam of his jeans. There’s no hiding it now, how easily he has risen to the occasion. Robert tilts his head, his tongue peeking out a little before he swipes it over his lips quickly.

He tries to shift onto his side, to cover up, but Robert catches his wrist, “Don’t.”

It’s soft, and Robert pulls Aaron to sit up by his wrist, catching his mouth in a gentle kiss. There’s a mild note of hesitancy in Robert before he leans in again, pressing a little firmer, a little more enticing. Aaron half moans in his throat and returns the kiss, his other hand threading through Robert’s hair and clutching it tightly before pulling it so that he is forced to part from Aaron’s mouth.

Pupils blown wide, Aaron searches Robert’s face for anything that might respond in the negative and finds nothing.

“You wanna?” It’s superfluous, they both want to, whether they should is the question, but Robert nods as much as he’s able with Aaron still holding him, and Aaron lets him go. They’ve never had brilliant impulse control.

Still, Aaron keeps his eyes on the line of Robert’s back as he follows him up the stairs, so he isn’t expecting Robert to turn suddenly and pin him to their bedroom door with a kiss and hands that pin his wrists to the wood. Aaron gives as good as he gets, his tongue immediately pressing back against Robert’s mouth, forcing him to open up and accept Aaron’s desire over any want he might have.

Robert’s hands drop first, moving to pull him into the room by his long sleeve shirt. Aaron just lets Robert drag him along, his stomach full of butterflies like he hasn’t loved this man for what feels like forever. They know every part of each other and it still feels like new.

Aaron makes a hasty grab for Robert’s shirt, roughly unbuttoning it, and Robert laughs at him for it, but he doesn’t care. He wants to see him as he is, without the ugly bruises he remembers and the pain that brought them. His skin is pristine bar his natural freckles that pale in the winter months. He’s missing a patch on his ribs that come out in full force when he sits in the sun for too long without any sun cream. Aaron still traces the skin as if they were there and Robert nudges his cheek with his nose to bring him back to the present.

They kiss as Aaron slides the shirt off and Robert bumps him back into the bed, dropping him down and climbing over his body as they shuffle onto the duvet. It’s the most frustrating thing when Robert takes his time, stripping off his top and kissing the exposed skin as he sees it. Aaron tries to work off his own belt, but his hands get batted away and pinned by his sides as Robert licks his nipple. His toes curl and he arches off the bed restlessly and Robert ignores him, biting the skin above it.

“Come on, Robert.” It has a touch of begging about it and Aaron isn’t proud of it, but he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get a hand on his dick.

“You’d think I’d never touched you.” Robert huffs as he sucks a kiss just below Aaron’s ribcage where it’s softer and it tickles that much more.

He has, of course he has, but not like this, not for so long and it drives a whine out of Aaron’s throat and Robert looks up at him, and maybe for the first time, he sees how much Aaron wants it. _Needs it_. He needs to feel as consumed by this as he does with Robert in every other part of his life. He just loves this man so deeply there’s nowhere for it to go.

“Tell me if this isn’t okay.” Robert tells him as he brings Aaron’s wrists together in front of him before he grabs Aaron’s shirt and takes the sleeves, wrapping them twice around his wrists before tying a double knot. The fabric is stretched tight, but it doesn’t hurt or cut off his circulation, he tests as he moves his wrists up and down under the cloth.

“You know what you have to say if you want to stop.”

He does. Toast. It’s a knobby joke between them because Aaron picked pineapple first for Robert and wouldn’t let him change it. It’s stupid, but the whole process of checking in and asserting their safe words just hikes up Aaron’s lust for whatever is about to happen. It’s not that Robert has ever treated Aaron like he’s fragile, but he knows how much trust goes into having your hands tied and it’s like he doesn’t believe he is deserving of that trust.

Aaron acknowledges what Robert says with his safe word, “toast,” because he won’t continue otherwise.

Robert takes the length of him for a moment before he pushes at Aaron’s hands, “Above your head.”

Aaron does as he’s told, his chest pushing out to compensate for the rearrangement. Robert bites the skin on the right side of his ribcage, hard enough to pinch and it just sends all the right signals down to his balls and Aaron tries to bring his knees up, but Robert stops him with both hands, pushing them back down.

“No.”

It’s firm. Solid. Brokers no arguments, and Aaron loves it. Let Robert’s strength feed both of their desires. He flattens his legs back onto the bed and Robert comes back to him, pressing a kiss on his stomach.

Robert licks the dip of Aaron’s belly button while he unbuttons Aaron’s jeans and works them off enough with his pants that his hipbones and cock are exposed, but also so that they don’t go much further down towards his thighs, trapping him where Robert wants him. In fact, Robert pays special attention to Aaron’s hip bones, scraping his teeth across them and purpling the skin with heavy suction. Aaron shifts his hips under Robert’s mouth and Robert cups his hand on Aaron’s balls, right up under his cock and holds them in his palm as he continues to work bruising kisses into his hip crease.

Aaron tosses his head from side to side and flexes his toes as he tries to gain purchase of something but it’s fruitless. He tries to hold still, his hands curling and uncurling against each other as he rubs his wrists together in a half-hearted attempt to get free. His cock is twitching with every hard intake of his breath, Robert grazing his open mouth across his skin. Aaron breathes out heavily, but it’s no use, Robert bypasses his cock and lets his balls go before he presses his mouth to Aaron’s other hip. He does get his hands under Aaron’s arse and pulls his jeans down to his knees, but he makes no attempt to take them any further.

Aaron can feel Robert’s breathing on his moistening dick, but he doesn’t do anything about it. Instead, Robert helps to turn Aaron over before roughly pulling him up by his hips until he’s on all fours, or his knees and how much he’s able to balance on his tied hands. His jeans make sure he can’t spread his legs as Robert parts his arsecheeks and swipes his tongue against his hot rim. Aaron coughs as he lurches forwards, not expecting the wet drag of Robert’s tongue.

He sighs and barely whispers a “don’t” before Robert presses in on him again. It’s a shock, it’s always a shock, but he’s so easy for this, when it’s exactly like this: on his knees and made to feel what he can’t see. It took him a long time to be okay with getting rimmed, Robert guiding him every step of the way when he wanted it, and now he revels in it, in how Robert knows exactly what is going to set him off.

Aaron doesn’t have sharp enough fingernails to dig into his palms to distract himself from the wet licks Robert works over him. He’s going to be able to get a finger inside him so easily, his thumb pressing the edge now as he spits directly onto him and Aaron can’t help but keen a little with it.

“I didn’t realise you were aching so bad, Aaron. You never said.” Robert’s tone more than a little bit smug.

 _Fuck_. He’s going to talk all the way through this. He’s going to ruin Aaron with his words and his body.

Robert’s thumb pops past the muscle and Aaron tries to pull off it, but Robert has him by the hip with his other hand. It’s still really tight, even with Robert’s spit, and it rides him hard, his dick straining and trying to leak fluid from the tip.

“We were going slow, doing the right thing, but I guess you never wanted that. You wanted this instead.”

He drags his thumb down as he pulls it out and it makes Aaron want to cry out, but he manages to hold it. Robert spits on him again before he pushes back with his index finger.

“You only pretend to be a good guy when really you want to get fucked.”

Aaron shakes his head, _no_ , but Robert slaps his arse lightly, “You can’t lie to me, Aaron. I know you better than anyone.”

Robert swipes his hand over Aaron’s dick and it shunts him forward again with the intensity of the sensation, Aaron subconsciously tries to free himself again and he has to focus himself to rest his head on his hands so that he doesn’t try again.

“Rob—"

Robert’s tongue curls against him as his finger presses in, and Aaron can’t help but try to push his knees down and out. He doesn’t get anywhere with it, and Robert pulls on his dick, working the soft skin, but Aaron can’t take what’s happening. He tries to move away, only Robert squeezes the base of his cock and that’s worse. All the pleasure he’s built up recedes back into his body and he can’t help but hiss and try to tuck his hips under himself.

“You’re only making it worse for yourself.”

It’s arrogant. It’s so fucking arrogant, and Aaron wants to hate it, only he wants to come more. Robert pulls him up so that he’s kneeling upright, his back against Robert’s chest. He wobbles a little because his hands unbalance him, but Robert holds his wrists, his mouth swiping at Aaron’s throat before he presses a kiss underneath his ear.

Robert makes him stay like that while he gets up and grabs the lube from the drawer, he doesn’t even ask, he just assumes it was where it had always been. He drags his trousers and pants off and leaves them in a heap on the floor.

The bed dips again when he gets back on it and he arranges himself to sit on his ankles behind Aaron, his knees between Aaron’s legs as he pulls him to sit down on his thighs. He tips Aaron forward again so that he can spread the cold gel on his skin and it feels like a jolt between them as Aaron waits for the heavy push of Robert’s fingers inside him. Instead, it’s a slow tease, a soft slide that Aaron can’t rut against, he just has to accept the pleasure as it comes.

His arms shake where he tries to hold himself up, “Robert.”

Robert hushes him and wraps his arms around Aaron’s waist to help him back up, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Aaron bites his lip as Robert lines himself up against his body, stopping only to put more lube on himself before he lets Aaron slowly sink down onto him. Robert holds him against his chest with his hands low on Aaron’s belly. He presses his mouth against Aaron’s ear so that every breath and soft moan goes right into it and down the length of his body to his dick. Aaron pulls at his restraint; he wants to touch Robert so bad as he rolls his hips up into him.

“I’ve thought about this, a hundred different ways. All the things I’d do to you when we got back here. But this? This is better.” Robert keeps his voice low and rumbling and Aaron curls down a little, but is stopped by Robert with a hand sliding over his cock. He pants into the heavy air, Robert is wedged so deep inside him now he can feel him like a part of himself. He rubs against the underside of Aaron’s cock and Aaron lets his head drop back against Robert’s shoulder, their cheeks brushing as he keeps up the slow drag and press of their easy rhythm. “I just love being inside you, how easy it is for you to express yourself when I am.”

Aaron doesn’t think he’s said two words this whole time, but Robert keeps his hand moving as his dick dribbles pre-come over his fingers, and maybe Robert is right. Maybe he has been. Robert speeds up his hand and curls his fingers so that his thumb presses heavily on the head of Aaron’s dick and it drags his orgasm up and out of him with expert precision. He jerks and spills thickly over his own thighs, shaking as Robert keeps his hand going, drawing more come out of him until he’s moaning softly that he can’t.

Robert keeps him where he’s sat over his thighs, only now he doesn’t hold his thrusts, driving harder and faster, his hands keeping hold of Aaron’s arms so that he doesn’t go anywhere while Robert fucks his way to a hard end. It’s different now that he’s come already, but the slide of Robert’s body seems to prolong the heavy bubble of pleasure in his blood as he tries to turn his head to catch Robert’s mouth. Robert sees what he’s trying to do and he lets go of one of his arms to cup his cheek round so that their mouths catch on each other’s lips with every bounce of Aaron on Robert’s cock. Robert’s breath seizes right before he comes, and he tries to push Aaron off, to come on his back, but Aaron pushes down and takes him and his come in as far as it will go inside him.

“ _Aaron_.”

He doesn’t talk like Robert, but he knows his husband just the same, what his secret wants are, and he always wants to bury himself inside Aaron. He shudders and shakes while his hands rub at Aaron's forearms before he unlaces his jumper to set him free. They both naturally fall forward and Aaron grabs Robert’s hip so that when he moves to roll on his side, he takes Aaron with him and remains inside. It gets a last secondary spurt of come from Robert as they snuggle up against each other on the bed. Robert noses at Aaron’s hairline and kisses the back of his neck softly.

Robert slips out eventually and Aaron winces a little bit when it happens. He pulls his jeans off before he shuffles over so that he faces Robert and he gets a little kiss on his nose for his trouble. It makes him smile and slip his hand so that it presses against against the small of Robert’s back. It seems like such a small thing, to just be able to touch Robert’s bare back, but Aaron has missed it so much.

“I love you.” Robert tells him as he leans his head on Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron rubs his hair and kisses his forehead, “I love you too.

Robert hums, but he’s already falling asleep, he always does when he comes hard. Aaron is content to just watch him sleep, the warmth of his body satisfying them both until Aaron disentangles himself long enough to pull the duvet over them. Robert doesn’t even make a sound as he does it, so content is he to be in their bed.

He knows it’s too early, too soon, but Aaron says into the room, “Move back in.”

He doesn’t get an answer, he knew he wouldn’t, Robert is snuffling away, his mouth dropped open now and drooling a bit. It’s what he wants though. He wants all the days and nights he can with Robert because he loves him so damn much. He decides when Robert wakes up he’ll talk to him about it. Maybe he won’t agree right away, he more so than Aaron, is wary, but at least he’ll know it’s on the table.

Finally, with a plan in place, Aaron can work himself back into the circle of Robert’s arms as they automatically open for him, even in sleep. He dozes lightly and smiles when Robert’s hand walks up his thigh.

Okay, maybe the plan can wait, they have better things to catch up on.


	4. Don't Talk, Just Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re here to cook, not take the mick.” It circles around his brain like a rocket and it just does not leave. 
> 
> Spoilers for the Valentine's Day/Thursday 15th previews + a bit of speculation thrown in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a touch of BDSM/praise kink this go around, but it's there, so we're here. :)

“You’re here to cook, not take the mick.” It circles around his brain like a rocket and it just does not leave. There’s nothing to it really, it’s not like Robert even reacts to the words, but Aaron feels them in his body like a bolt of lightning. He’s heard something similar to it before.

 

_“Yeah, well, you’re here to please me, not talk.”_

They were in their bedroom back at the pub, naked and messing around one night, but Robert was giving him backchat about shit when Aaron slid out from under him to get off the bed. Robert rolled onto his back and then up onto his knees. He looked smug, but Aaron was about to set that to rights.

It’s easy for Aaron to feel like he’s slipping into a second skin, one with slick power and tingling control as Robert looked at him and waited. He hadn’t quite cottoned onto how things had changed, so when he scooted down to the end of the bed to try and get his hands on Aaron’s waist, he was denied. Aaron could see then how he changed the set of his shoulders, straightened his spine, almost compassed the feeling of a held breath as he waited for Aaron to make his move.

“Turn around.” He told him.

Robert obeyed without a fuss, sat on his ankles, faced towards the headboard. Aaron stepped a little closer and he could feel the downy hairs of Robert’s back on his stomach when he leaned forward. He nosed Robert’s neck a little, bit on the corded muscle of his shoulder and backed off. There’s something in the simplicity of staring at Robert’s back; to see the painted freckles that cover him, the knobbly parts of his spine, and how that all just twisted up inside him and flared when he caught sight of the goosebumps on Robert’s forearms.

Curiosity got him though.

He leant over Robert’s shoulder and Robert was straining with his hands curled up into fists on his thighs as not to touch himself.

“That’s good, Robert,” Aaron pressed his nose against Robert’s cheek before he kissed it, kissed his temple and brought his hands onto Robert’s shoulders. “I want that.”

He let his voice drop on that last part and there was a minute tremor in Robert’s body. There’s only power in this because Robert gave it to him. He just scooped himself up and handed it over to Aaron and waited to see what he’d do with it. Where Aaron might have felt fragile, Robert revels in letting Aaron be everything for him.

Aaron sat himself down beside him but faced towards the door, his fingers edged over Robert’s inner thigh as he did.

“Look how much better it is when you’re good for me.”

Robert let out a sigh as Aaron’s fingers touched his hip crease, dragged over the softer skin of the joint, down toward his balls. It really was the easiest thing in the world for Robert to just give up to Aaron’s will.

Still, Aaron had to know, “Do you want to? Like this?”

Robert’s lip was bitten between his teeth before he let it go, “Yeah.”

It was all still so new between them at that point, the ground giving the illusion of solidity, but Aaron couldn’t help but live in fear in case he got it wrong and it all fell away. That Robert would no longer trust him to be this person for him.

“Okay, don’t move.”

Aaron leaned down, pushed at Robert’s thighs so they spread a little and he draped himself on the left one for balance as he took Robert into his mouth. He allowed Robert’s hand on his shoulder and his other stayed tight in its fist on his right thigh. He tucked his fingers up against the soft skin of Robert’s perineum and pushed gently at it when he swallowed down.

“Aaron—” It was soft, punched out of Robert.

He didn’t stop though, he waited for what Robert had to say as he drew up and down, only it didn’t come. Robert’s fingers dug into his shoulder when he focused tightly on the head of his dick, rubbed hard against him and Robert jerked forward, unbidden. Aaron pulled off him with a satisfying pop, but he could see the starts of a sheen of sweat on Robert’s chest. His shoulders were tilted down now, weakened with attention and Aaron could see how Robert wanted to ask for more and struggled with the knowledge that he knew he couldn’t.

Aaron sat up and moved so that he was at the other end of the bed, up on the pillows, his feet splayed so he wasn’t touching Robert.

Robert told him once that sometimes the hardest thing about submitting was his intense need to give Aaron pleasure. He wants what he wants for himself, but he also wants to be the one that rides Aaron’s body hard and the two aren’t always mutually exclusive.

They only had the lamps on, so Aaron was half cast in shadow as he started tugging on his own cock, Robert’s eyes zeroed in on his hand between his legs as his other held his chest, scratching down a little over his nipple. It was good, really good, but Aaron was watching to see if Robert would break. Aaron thought there was a moment when Robert was about to give in, but he just folded himself down harder onto his ankles and spread his knees a bit more.

Aaron drew up one leg so that his foot was flat to the bed, “You can touch yourself if you want, but don’t come.”

Robert won’t do it. He’ll do what he has to stay hard, but he’s had more than one punishment before now for going before he was told. His eyes flicked over to the bedside table because he knows what Aaron was about to do and he couldn’t help but move up a little for it. Aaron grabbed the lube and uncapped it, squeezed out enough for his need. He touched gently around himself, barely a graze and he watched Robert’s stomach flex as Robert’s eyes didn’t leave his hand.

“Y’alright, Rob?” He asked, exaggerating how breathy he felt. Robert gave him a shaky yes. Aaron knew he was being a cocktease and he intended it 100%. He wanted to try and break Robert’s control, his submission because he knows it’s nearly impossible. He wanted Robert to see how good at this he is. “So good for me.”

“So gobby till you want me to touch you,” Aaron started, and he found he couldn’t stop, “Then it’s all please and thank you.”

He pressed inside a little just because it felt good and it pushed a gentle cry out of him. Robert’s hands turn from fists to almost claws as he holds his own thighs to keep himself in check.

“Always my good boy.”

Aaron heard Robert’s barely audible whimper and took it in deep as he keeps his own eyes on that face he loves so much. There was so much naked longing between them, Aaron didn’t know how they bore it.

More lube and Aaron got two fingers inside himself pretty quickly. It’s mean, but when he rolled down hard the first time, feeling his last knuckle, he called for Robert. He didn’t want him to move, so it’s not forceful, but he took all the feelings he has for Robert and he bound them up in the two syllables of his name. Robert held firm, but his lips parted like he could almost taste Aaron’s skin. Aaron kept working his dick in his fist and his fingers started to get shiny with pre-come so he forced himself to let go. His body was thrumming when he lied there, palm on his thigh and his cock rigid and lying flat on his stomach.

And Robert was still exactly where he left him.

“God, you’re perfect, get up here,” Aaron pulled Robert down onto his chest, but grabbed hold of his dick and squeezes at the base, not tight, just to ease him back. Robert hissed in his ear and tried to draw his hips away. Aaron slicked his hand with lube and spread it on Robert’s cock, his other hand between his shoulder blades to hold him down onto his body. Robert ended up sliding himself against Aaron’s stomach, rocking his hips like he’s dry humping him and Aaron just encouraged him by hooking his legs around the backs of Robert’s thighs, his own dick shoved against Robert’s belly.

Face tucked into Aaron’s neck, Robert caved, “I wanna be inside you.”

Aaron tugged on Robert’s hair to make him look at him, “Do you?”

It meant accepting a punishment if he does, regardless of how much Aaron wanted it too, their bodies still rolling together as they talked.

“Aaron, come on.” Robert’s breathing is stuttered, he was closer than Aaron had suspected, so he nodded. Robert got his hands under his arse and pulled him up enough to be in line with Robert’s dick. There was a moment when Aaron thought that Robert reconsidered, that he was going to pull away from him, but instead, he pushed past it and Aaron’s resistance. It was a little rough and Robert kept it that way, long thick drives of his body against and into Aaron’s, and Aaron held onto Robert’s biceps from where he was holding himself over him as he accepted them.

Robert lavished praise on Aaron after that, told him how hot his body was, how tight he held him, and Aaron’s moans started to increase in volume as Robert shunted pleasure through him and Robert had to cover his mouth with his hand.

“Sssh,” Robert tried to tell him as he choked back his own cry when Aaron slid his thighs up to his sides and tried to pin his body down against him. Aaron didn’t want any space between them as Robert took his pleasure from him to give him his own. He held one hand up against the headboard to try and stabilise himself as the other grabbed at Robert’s back then up to pull on his hair. It came all at once, the overwhelming heat inside him that spilt out over himself, and Robert stole both kisses and moans from his mouth as he thrusted his way through Aaron’s body trying to trap him in its peak.

Aaron was still shuddering and shaking, come smeared between their bellies, when Robert screwed his eyes shut and Aaron shoved at his hips.

“Not inside me.” _That’s your punishment for being too eager_.

Robert opened his eyes and dragged himself away from Aaron with a pained cry as he jerked himself to his orgasm against Aaron’s thigh. He flopped down on Aaron’s belly and Aaron stroked his fingers through Robert’s hair, getting it sticky with lube, as their breathing heaved then slowed and then returned to normal.

 

 

 

 

Aaron thinks it kills him that there is no recognition in Robert’s face for that memory. His own body has started to coil, set desire and want heavy in his stomach.

Robert has brought back a bag of tomatoes and he’s pulling out the ones he thinks look the best. Aaron can only see how Robert twists his head down and away when he comes like he feels too exposed to share it, but at the same time, he prostrates himself in front of Aaron for him to do whatever he wants with him.

“Put down the knife,” Aaron says before he can even stop it.

Robert looks at him confused, but he does it. He turns to the right again so that his body is open and soft to Aaron’s view. Aaron wonders if Robert realises how vulnerable he is right now. How much Aaron wants to rip and tear at him for his own ends.

He gets his hand around the back of Robert’s neck and he’s dragging him down when he hears the door go. Everything inside him seizes up. It’s like a cold rush goes through him, but he can’t help but feel bitter that he’s been denied. Give him his dues, Robert jumps back when he hears it too, goes back to his tomatoes as Aaron forces himself to turn from Robert.

Paddy is looking at them and Aaron feels the guilt start to press on him then, he folds his arms and tries to hold his own.

Robert clatters the knife by accident, “You know what, I’m gonna go.”

Aaron opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out apart from, “See ya later.”

Robert squeezes his arm and Aaron feels his absence the moment he moves away from him.

Paddy actually smiles and nods his head as Robert passes him, jacket in hand, and receives a strained smile in return, but Aaron is frozen.

“Fancy a brew?” Paddy prompts him, and he finally gets moving after that, flitting about his kitchen on autopilot while he grabs mugs and teabags and tries to deny the very real possibility that he could have almost just had sex with Robert just now.

 _And he wanted it_.  

Not in an ‘it just sort of happened’ of way, but if Robert had let him, he would have had him in the best way he knew how; stripped, bare and craving the imposition of Aaron’s will because _Aaron_ craved it.

He realises he’s got a dusting of flour on his black jumper and he makes his excuses to Paddy to go up and change it while the kettle boils and he catches himself in the mirror. There’s a tiny flush to his skin, easily explainable as the heat of the kitchen, but he knows better. He’s in trouble. Robert isn’t doing anything to him, there’s no hidden agenda with him for Aaron to blame, it’s on him that he can’t let Robert go.

 _Maybe I don’t have to_.

Aaron shakes his own thoughts off and heads back downstairs. Paddy will talk to him, Paddy will make him see sense.

 

 

 

Jumbled up and alone in bed that night, if Aaron touches himself and replays every soft moan and cry Robert made that one single night, then there’s no one there to stop him.


	5. there is forgiveness in how you love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A speculative reaction scene fic, with sex, post-kidnap but set in the BDSM 'verse. (very light praise kink/spanking)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't die, or stop writing, I did a lot of drabbles/ficlets on my tumblr that need uploading and I'll get to them, not sure when. Writing is kind of hard at the moment, but I'm not giving up. Hope y'all are well. Let's pray for some warmer weather and better moods.

They sit in silence. Coats off, puffers removed, in the comfort of what was their home.

Aaron isn’t so blinded by his own anger at Joe that he can’t see that Robert is in pain. He reads the slump of his husband’s shoulders better than anyone; how he turns his body away from Aaron on the settee after he’s explained what he did. It makes Aaron ache to see how Robert curls in on himself like a beaten down dog, waiting to be punished for his actions.

He ignores how his sore ribs pierce his breathing and he takes another sip of his drink, his other hand holding them in a poor effort to ease his pain. No hand on Robert’s chest is going to make this better for him.

“You did what you had to,” Aaron tells him.

It’s not a platitude. Robert did what he could with what he had, and Aaron can never fault him for that. He wishes for his part that his own ego, his own surety, hadn’t felled them both.

“Yeah, and I gave up our home, to _him_ ,” Robert finishes his drink and gets up to pour another. He’s rigid in his anger and self-loathing.

Aaron’s breathing hitches as he turns, “And here I am, safe and sound.”

The measure Robert pours is at least three and he drains it dry.

There is only one way to deal with Robert like this and it’s to take him in hand. He’s flying out past every edge and Aaron has to wrap him up tight so that he doesn’t lose himself in the process.

“C’mere,” Aaron cocks his head and it hurts, his nose feels even the air touching it as blood pounds through the veins inside of it and lances pain through his sinuses.

Robert sees his pain and his face just crumples.

“Robert, come here,” He presses again and Robert walks on automatic feet to come and sit on the edge of the sofa next to Aaron.

Aaron sits himself up and cups his hand against Robert’s cheek, watches how he leans into it like a kitten looking for affection, but with closed eyes and moistening eyelashes.

“I ain’t mad at you, alright. Do I like it? No, Joe can do one off a cliff, but you, you saved me. Again.”

Something unspools inside Robert, eases his tension, so Aaron keeps going.

“You protected this family, just like you said you would,” With his other hand, Aaron tucks it between Robert’s thighs, groping to hold him and make him realise that he is grounded here. He belongs to Aaron.

Aaron follows Robert’s eyes as they look at how his thumb is digging into his jeans, his fingers hidden underneath his thigh. He takes his hand off Robert’s face and skims it down to his bicep to do the same, another set of five-point pressure to tame Robert’s negativity as it rolls off him in waves.

“Let it go.”

Robert looks up at that and Aaron knows he said it for both of them. As much as he wants to rail; what’s done is done. All his anger will do is hurt Robert and that’s the last thing he wants.

“I can’t.”

With two words, Robert looks cracked open. Everything is bleeding out of him until all that’s left is his overwhelming sense of failure. “The business he can have, but the Mill—”

 _What was I thinking?_ Aaron can hear the words as they form, Robert getting up from the settee again and grabbing his glass.

Then it’s like something slams shut inside Aaron. Maybe it’s his reasonability, maybe it’s his ability to keep quiet when he sees things going downhill, but he’s done.

“Take your trousers down,” He licks his lips as a vague plan coalesces inside him. He’s running on instinct and Robert puts his glass on the kitchen table, folds his arms like he thinks Aaron is having him on, “You want to blame yourself, you want to punish yourself, you want me to do it? Tell you that you were wrong? Take ‘em down.”

There is a minute tremor in Robert’s body and Aaron sees it. He sees everything when it comes to Robert.

“Aaron, I think you’re—”

“Shut up and do as I say,” He isn’t forceful, but he is expectant. He squishes himself back into the cushions to ease his ribs and he waits. Robert shifts his bodyweight back and forth on his feet and does nothing, his face a picture of insecurity. Aaron nudges him with a disinterested, “I’m waiting.”

Normally, they don’t get this rough off the bat. Robert likes lines and rules and order, but it’s never a fight with them. Not really. But then Aaron has never had to watch Robert give in like he has. Every single bit of his fight has been deconstructed and left in ruins by fear and overpowered by a dick in an expensive suit.

Aaron crooks two fingers towards himself, “Now.”

If Robert won’t choose to come, Aaron won’t give him the choice. It’s a testament to how hollowed out Robert is that he stumbles forward, almost dazed, to heed Aaron’s command. Another part of him breaks; Robert did what he did, but Aaron did this.

Hands move over his buckle, Robert’s leg touches Aaron’s knee as he slaps the leather out of the loops. He pops the button, unzips the zip and pulls them down with a quiet efficiency. Robert’s shirt tails hang on the tops of his thighs and obscure him to Aaron’s view, but the tease of it begins to furl in his own stomach. Aaron knocks it back. It’s not about him.

“Do you want to?” Aaron brushes his thumb over the patch of red that was his thumb from before. It must have hurt a little to come this far through the thick denim.

“Yes.” It’s emphatic because Aaron will accept no less for when they do this. He still isn’t sure what this is yet, but he knows he needs to give Robert something to hold on to. Something more than his own admonishments and reprimands.

“Your safeword?”

Robert huffs a little laugh, “Pineapple.”

Aaron can’t help but smile a little too, “Good.”

He turns his attention back to Robert’s thigh, lets his shirt cover his knuckles when he grabs Robert’s hip, thumb pressing flatly and in.

The longer Aaron waits, the more restless Robert gets. It’s what he wants. He wants Robert eager and ready to please, always working better with a carrot at the end of the stick.

“Lift your shirt up,” Aaron takes his hand away and spreads his knees a little further apart so that Robert has to navigate his own trousers hindering him to get between Aaron’s legs. He manages it and holds his shirt in one hand, balled up and just below his belly button.

It’s times like this that Aaron envies their differences. Robert holds himself so well, so open for Aaron to look at him when Aaron knows he couldn’t. But then, Robert doesn’t see it as a vulnerability. As far as he is concerned, all that he is, is for Aaron to do with as he wishes. It’s that power that terrifies Aaron. It’s what happened here. Aaron is Robert’s world and there was nothing material, big or small, that he would value over Aaron’s life. And he’s punishing himself for that.

 _Not on my watch_.

“Play with yourself.”

That gets him a hesitating look, but Robert does as he’s told, hand cupping over himself, palm pressing down as he rubs himself slowly, eyes downcast to watch himself.

“I ain’t gonna lie, I’m sore, so you’re gonna have to do the heavy lifting,” Aaron tells Robert as he might tell him the weather, “Can you do that?”

Robert nods, “Yeah.”

“Good.”

Robert’s eyes fly up to his. Aaron holds his stare as emotions flicker minutely over Robert’s face, him trying to decipher Aaron’s intent. He keeps himself open and blank. He has nothing to hide.

“What? You thought I was gonna slap your arse and tell you you’re bad?” Aaron scoffs gently, “You’re everything too, Robert. I’m gonna forgive you and you’re gonna believe me.”

Robert gapes a little like there are things he wants to say, things to the contrary, but he knows Aaron won’t accept them so his mouth shuts with an audible clack of his teeth.

“Do I think what you did was stupid? Yeah, but that’s ‘cause I was stupid too,” Aaron leans forward, ignores the painful heat that spreads and spits on Robert’s cock where his hand isn’t covering it, “More.”

Robert shifts to encircle the shaft, moving Aaron’s spit over himself and pulling a little jerk out of his hips.

“I’m not worth all that.” Aaron admits, digs his fingers into Robert’s thighs when he speaks again, cuts off any admonishments that Robert might have, “Ssh, don’t. You were perfect, Rob.”

He trembles, and Aaron doesn’t know if it’s his words, Robert’s hand or both that do it. Aaron presses forward, lets Robert’s vulnerability guide him to what Robert needs.

“The problem is Joe, not you.”

He pushes Robert’s hand out the way because he can’t not touch him. He’s still teasingly soft and Aaron engulfs the head with his mouth and hollows his cheeks.

“Aaron—”

Aaron pulls off with a wet pop, exaggerates his breathing, lets Robert touch his lips with his thumb, “You did everything right.”

Robert is so focused on his face that he doesn’t realise the first slap on his arse is coming. He drops his shirt and grabs Aaron’s shoulder to stop himself from tipping over.

“Seeing you, you putting your arms around me—”

Another slap, a soft pleased grunt in response.

“Keep going,” Aaron encourages, so Robert ignores his shirt and keeps stroking himself.

“I felt safe; I felt loved.”

The third strike drags a whine out of Robert and Aaron soothes him with his palm.

“So yeah, I ain’t gonna punish you for anything, I’m gonna love you like you love me.”

Wisely, Robert takes it as a cue to let go and Aaron takes him back into his mouth. It frustrates him that this is all he can do. He wants to pull Robert onto his lap and take him that way, watch how his body spurs Robert’s to come, overwhelmed by all that Aaron can give him. but his ribs won’t allow it.

He lets him drop wetly from his lips and stain the bottom of his shirt.

“I want to show you so bad, but I can’t, and that’s my fault,” Aaron leans and puts his forehead on Robert’s hip, his hands dragging up before catching on his shirt and holding onto it. “Robert, fuck.”

Aaron feels everything that’s tight inside him reach critical torque; any more and he’s going to rip. Robert’s hands cradle his face and pull him away as Robert awkwardly leans down to kiss him. A soft sob comes out of him at the gentleness of Robert’s mouth, how he rubs their lips together in the barest of touches and that’s all Aaron needs to feel free.

“I brought this to our door.”

And there it is. Why Robert could never be entirely to blame for any of it. This is Aaron’s mess. Aaron’s price to pay. The fact Robert is trying to take it solely on his shoulders makes him feel ashamed. He closes his eyes and he feels Robert’s fingers tilt his head further back so that when he opens them he’s looking directly up at Robert.

“It was all just a big mistake.” _One we both have to pay for_.

Robert looks at him with kind eyes and the knot in Aaron’s chest loosens.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Aaron feels it tumble from him as he unbuttons the bottom of Robert’s shirt, Robert taking the top when he realises. They get it off him and drop it down onto the floor and Aaron holds Robert back from kissing him with a splayed hand on his belly.

Aaron might not like being looked at, but he never misses an opportunity to look at Robert. He thinks it’s all the time he spent _not looking_ at Robert and it’s made him greedy for just being able to take his fill when he wants. And the preening peacock that he is, Robert likes it normally. It isn’t always obvious, but it’s there, even if it’s just the straightening of his spine when he sees Aaron looking.

But it’s like that’s all _Robert_ sees. That he doesn’t always believe the depth of Aaron’s feelings is genuine. That he wouldn’t shatter just as easily to lose Robert.

He wonders when things shifted. How his comforting Robert became about him, and how he has tried to deny how his hands have tremored intermittently since he breathed that first sigh of relief in Robert’s arms. How Robert doesn’t look shaken anymore, instead, he looks resolute, as if Aaron’s presence is all the strength he needs. So, Aaron lets his fingers move, sometimes touching, sometimes not, as he counts the moles amongst the freckles. Lets the simplicity wash over him and quiet his own voices.

“Aaron,” Robert is soft when he calls him, hands loose at his sides, unsure of what he can and can’t do.

Aaron ignores him in favour of sucking a hickey on the skin between his hip crease and his cock, Aaron’s hand pushing it up and flat against Robert’s stomach as it starts to tease fluid at the tip. He allows Robert’s hand to run through his hair and hold his neck as he pants when he finally lets Robert’s skin go, pillowing his face on Robert’s hip for a moment.

He casts a look up to Robert’s face and he’s tucking his lips into his mouth so that he doesn’t make a sound. Offering his hands as he settles back on the settee again, Robert uses them to kneel either side of his legs, his balance off with his jeans around his knees but he makes it work.

“You’re doing so good,” Aaron tells him, and there he is. The Robert who just soaks up the praise like a sponge, his fingers squeezing Aaron’s in a subconscious gesture for more. Aaron untangles their hands and nips at Robert’s side, watches it turn red with his teeth marks before he licks his lips and his hands follow the slope of Robert’s back.

They really are limited by what they can do, but Aaron doesn’t let that stop him from sucking his fingers and parting Robert’s cheeks to press one inside. Robert’s breathing seizes like he’s lost between should and shouldn’t and he doesn’t know what to do. Aaron pulls his finger down a little and Robert finally inhales and exhales deeply. It always amazes him how easily Robert takes his cues without words.

“Deal with it, come on,” Aaron encourages as he slips it out and back in. He tucks his thumb under Robert’s balls and pushes a little and it draws a soft little whine from him as his shoulders roll down and Aaron tuts at him. Robert hears him and forces himself to go back to upright. “Better.”

Aaron pushes inside and down again, and Robert’s thighs shake, his cock completely distended now and twitching as Aaron watches his eyes flutter closed. Aaron has never known anyone who appreciates the burn as much as Robert does. He rocks his hips back and Aaron tests him with his other finger. He’s much too tight, but he’s pretty sure that Robert would have tried to take it. Instead, Aaron rubs the delicate skin of his perineum and sucks the tip of his cock, just enough to wipe it clean before letting it go.

Robert gets a hand around himself and he shakes his cock, slapping it lightly on Aaron’s lips, who takes it with a slick closed mouth. He keeps his eyes on Robert’s face and Robert curses before he gives up and goes back to what he’s supposed to be doing, which is nothing. Aaron wiggles his finger inside and Robert caves instantly with an exclamation. Not quite a shout, not quite a moan either, and Aaron watches him fight to regain control of himself.

“Too much?” Aaron asks. All of this a drop in the ocean by their standards, a tease compared to all the other times Aaron has played Robert’s body for the sake of praise, but he can see the sheen of sweat starting to form on Robert’s chest and knows where it will collect at the bottom of his back if Aaron checks for it.

Still, Robert glares at him because he thinks he can’t talk, but Aaron never said he couldn’t. _Gotta teach you how to negotiate terms better in the future,_ Aaron smiles to himself, and Robert flicks his shoulder because he thinks he’s being laughed at.

Aaron slips his fingers away and spits on them again, putting them right back where they were and watching Robert as he bears down to get Aaron in deeper.

“This, this is all I want,” Aaron tweaks Robert’s nipple as he pushes down, and Robert dribbles pre-come right in front of his face. “So good.”

Aaron does everything but touch Robert’s cock. He sucks each ball into his mouth, noses at the blonde hair that surrounds his dick and listens to Robert’s heavy breathing as he tries to get off Aaron’s barest of touches. He feels like a god when it’s like this, when Robert silently tries to hold onto his dignity, his own strength, and can’t. Aaron owns every part of him, symbolised in a ring on his finger.

 _I saw you, handing back our rings, Robert_. The thick band of titanium looks almost ordinary in the low light of the living room, so unassuming against Robert’s straining fist that clenches and unclenches. Face tilted up and away from Aaron, Aaron almost feels bad for Robert. He gently pushes him with his second finger and gets a hand clutching his hair for his trouble. Rather than letting Robert’s resistance push him away, Aaron keeps going until it pops past the muscle and Robert whines in almost petty relief.

“Does it hurt?” Aaron asks him, and Robert shakes his head, no, but Aaron pushes a little and he makes an unintentional face.

“A bit.”

“D’you want to stop?”

Robert looks down at him, his eyes that mix of green and blue that changes in the light and Aaron feels like he’s captured in Robert’s eyes. They speak volumes and all of them scream, _don’t_.

“No.”

The way Robert says it wraps around Aaron’s heart like an iron vest that will protect him from everything. There is nothing Aaron could do that would make Robert turn away from him. It’s this blind faith, blind _love_ that got Robert into this mess.

So Aaron takes his fingers away anyway.

Robert winces and falters, his legs unsteady and Aaron grabs around the back of his thighs to help stabilise him.

“Turn around, sit on my lap,” Aaron guides as he lets Robert go to spread his own legs as wide as he can to accommodate him. His own erection pulses against his zip so he frees himself for a little relief, but ultimately ignores it, even when Robert pushes back into him so that he’s on the seat as much as he can be.

He uses his hands to get Robert to lean back onto him, “Stay still.”

He says it for his own benefit as much as Robert’s, pleasure blurring out most of the pain, but even he can’t deny it hurts when he’s jostled.

Robert nods and puts his hands on Aaron’s thighs and Aaron slides on arm between Robert’s arm and his body, hugging him to his chest.

“I know I’ve been taking it easy on you,” Aaron hooks his chin over Robert’s shoulder and watches his belly quiver as his hand travels down, “Can’t do all the things I want to, but you, you’ve done everything.”

His cheek almost brushing against Robert’s, Aaron can hear his shuddery exhalations.

“Perfect. Good. Amazing.” He punctuates every word with a kiss and a bite on Robert’s neck. His fingers catch on the tip of his cock and Aaron rubs it, over and over, knowing he’s sending shots of hot pleasure through Robert until he cries out and jerks up to get away from it.

“Come on.” Aaron means it as a command: _come on, back in place_.

Robert sits himself back down and Aaron tugs on his balls, giving him a couple of superficial strokes along the shaft and goes back to teasing the head.

“ _No_.”

Aaron almost doesn’t catch it, it’s hidden under a moan. He lets go and slaps the inside of Robert’s thigh. Another jolt that sends Robert pushing into his own groin and he knows he’s at least slicking up Robert’s back as he tries not to rock up. He bites Robert’s shoulder almost as a retaliation as he puts his hand back, Robert clearly wanting to pull away but not following through.

“That’s it,” Aaron whispers in Robert’s ear.

It’s more than just his submission to something that is clearly overwhelming him, it’s that he wants it. Robert’s cock is drooling pre-come now, making it so easy for Aaron just to circle his thumb at the top, tease down his foreskin and rub underneath where everything is more sensitive.

Robert hiccups as he moans and Aaron pushes his other hand through the other space between Robert’s arm and his body to probe under his balls, pressing at the vulnerable skin as he rubs insistently at his cock. Aaron leans his head up a little as Robert’s writhing on his lap sends his jaw clattering closed with one hitch of his shoulder, his fingers try desperately to grab onto Aaron like a lighthouse in a storm.

“See, it’s all mine, ain’t it? This, you, I tell you what to do, what to feel—”

He can’t help but smear his mouth against Robert’s shoulder as he moves his hands, his questing fingers, even his own hips, before biting down none too gently on Robert’s joint between his neck and shoulder, and Robert grunts happily, welcoming the blunt pain and Aaron not letting him go until he does.

“I’m telling ya, it’s okay,” He presses the words into the bruising skin.

Aaron shifts his hand to stroke Robert off, moving fast over him, making a tight vice for him to feel. His hand is dragging up, so when Robert breaks, his come shoots onto his own chest as it heaves with exertion, his loud moans starting almost after the ropes of white begin to stain him. He twitches and melts boneless on Aaron’s body, his fingers stiffly uncurling from Aaron’s jeans.

Robert shakes his head and Aaron can smell their shampoo on his hair, “Fuck.”

Aaron laughs and then hums, “Mmm.”

After, he watches as Robert motions like he’s about to touch his own jizz but wrinkles his nose and doesn’t. He sits up off Aaron and turns, his hand cupping back to Aaron’s own cock and Aaron shakes his head. He doesn’t need it. He’s floating on that feeling he gets when he makes Robert come, how good it feels when they work for it together and how it almost starts with him and ends with Robert.

“Can I?” Robert asks, his voice soft and a little hoarse. Almost like he screamed when he came but he didn’t.

Still wanting to please, Aaron can’t deny him. He reaches up and tugs on Robert’s hair so that he leans down for an awkward kiss. Aaron finds that he likes those ones best, where they’re mismatched and they make do anyway because fuck it, they love each other. He doesn’t realise he’s smiling until Robert gives him a look as he gets up to sit outside of his thighs.

Sitting sideways with his knee up as far as he can with his jeans still around his calves, Robert hovers his mouth near Aaron’s as his fingers walk up and down his dick. He hooks his thumb around his index finger and pulls up and down.

Robert asks him, “Is it good?”

Aaron can feel the words as they form on Robert’s lips and he chases them more than the throbbing in his balls. Robert leans away and Aaron impatiently sighs.

“Aaron.”

He needs more, and Robert knows it. He grabs Robert’s neck and hungrily takes another kiss, pushing his tongue into the heat of Robert’s mouth and letting how good it feels power through him. He smiles into this kiss because he feels Robert let him go and grab his face with both hands, to keep him there or to control him, he doesn’t know or care.

 _I’m yours too_.

They part when they can’t afford to hold their breath anymore, foreheads touching, noses tipped up to brush against each other.

“I love you,” Robert tells him, and Aaron feels his smile widen as he nods.

He wishes he were better at this, but he’s not, so he mumbles, “Love you too.”

Robert’s face is soft because he gets it. He keeps Aaron’s eyes on his face, pinned by the depth of his gaze as his hand eases back around him.

“Look at me, yeah.”

Aaron wouldn’t dream of anything else.

He feels his eyes flutter close as his body starts to feel hot with Robert’s fingers and he gets nipped on his lips, eyes opening to try and focus back on Robert.

“Look at me,” It’s more like a plea now. It’s something Robert needs, so Aaron is going to give it to him.

He licks his lips and rolls his hips, but he keeps watching Robert. They breathe into each other, slotted like puzzle pieces and without negative space.

Aaron reaches out and holds Robert’s waist, his eyes still focused, fingers flexing against his skin. Everything is building now, his desire shaping into want and need to chase down that feeling Robert is pushing him towards with his hand.

“I couldn’t lose you,” Robert tells him quietly and Aaron knows not to object. This is Robert’s time now. “I hated having to go to him, but I didn’t care. Not if it saved you.”

Robert twists his wrist and Aaron grabs it as he moans quietly, stuttered by shock and surprise.

“I know it was wrong. I gave him too much, but I couldn’t—” Robert breaks his own rule and closes his eyes, but Aaron brings Robert back with another kiss, his eyes hooded when he opens them again after Aaron lets him go.

Aaron bats Robert’s hand away and jerks himself with harsh strokes, his toes curling in his boots as he pants in the space between them. It takes everything he has to not close his eyes when he comes, to keep their connection going as feeling courses through him, raw and undiluted, to cover his fingers. Yet he manages it so that Robert can see him, see how his mouth drops open in silent pleasure and how he chokes a little before he moans. All of it for him.

“’m here, ‘m alive,” Aaron mumbles, everything a little spacey and out of touch as his body tingles.

Robert kisses him, doesn’t do much more than press his lips against Aaron’s because they’re still slack with the force of his orgasm, but it coalesces the love he feels deeper in his heart. Robert’s thumb that rubs delicately at his cheek makes the feeling expand to take over his whole body.

“We’ll get through this, it’s not like before,” Aaron knows he’s hit a nerve and it’s the one he wonders if he can expose it and have them survive. “We’re together, so we do it all together.”

Aaron feels sleep edging at him, drawing him in with all that tension released and his body wants it, wants to heal.

He feels Robert’s lips against his temple and his soft, “sleep, yeah,” and Aaron lets go.

***

Aaron wakes up much in the same position that he fell asleep in, but he’s been cleaned up and tucked back in. Robert is pottering around in their dressing gown, putting the tea on and generally looking more settled.

“Hiya,” He croaks.

Robert looks at him, “Hi.”

He heads for the fridge and grabs Aaron a bottle of water, putting it on the coffee table before sitting at the end of the settee. Away from him.

Aaron frowns, “I thought we went through this.”

“We did, and you’re right—”

He waits for the ‘but’.

“But we can’t ignore how things are going to change.” Robert looks utterly dejected again.

Aaron sighs and cricks his neck, feeling like he just got lamped.

“I stand by what I said, Rob, we’ll be okay,” He gives him a pleading look, “you just gotta stop beating yourself up.”

“I will when you do,” Robert jibes at him before he gets up to go back to the kitchen. Aaron sometimes forgets how transparent he can be with Robert, or how well Robert knows him.

“Fine, we both agree we fucked up, let’s move on?” Aaron blows air out as he tries to get up and his body rebels after being in one position for so long.

“Y’alright?”

Aaron nods, “Mmm, nothing a bath won’t fix.”

“If ya need a hand,” Robert smiles in that teasing way of his, even if it’s more sedate than normal, and Aaron just has to laugh at him. He goes back to what he’s doing when Aaron just sits there looking at him.

Instead of going up right away, Aaron moves gingerly around the sofa and turns Robert around, away from the work surfaces, and kisses him. He tries to pour every feeling he has for him into it and if it doesn’t all fit, Robert will at least know he tried. Their lips catch as they part, their foreheads resting against each other as Robert holds a gentle arm around Aaron’s back.

“Forgive yourself, Robert, please.”

“Go on, get sorted, this chicken won’t cook itself,” Robert kisses him once and lets him go.

Aaron has to hope that forgiveness will happen one day soon because it won’t be today.

***

Alone in the tub, Aaron lets the heat soothe his physical aches. It’s here and only here that he lets himself mourn for the Mill. He doesn’t blame Robert, he doesn’t, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s gone.

The feeling passes, and Aaron wipes his face. He’s got his life, his family, and everything else will work itself out. Hopefully to include the ruin of Joseph Tate for what he did to Robert.

If not, he’ll help.


End file.
